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  So Many Roads To Choose

  Oregon Trail Dreamin’ Book Four

  Kathleen Ball

  Copyright © 2018 by Kathleen Ball

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  This is for all my readers who have encouraged me to keep writing. I appreciate you all.

  To Bruce, Steven, Colt, Clara, and Emmy because I love them.

  Contents

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  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Epilogue

  The End

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  About the Author

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  Chapter One

  Oregon 1850s

  “Help!” Lynn Downey screamed as she dangled from the second story window. “Smitty!” Her hand was covered in whitewash, and her grip started to slip. She gulped as she looked down and groaned. She’d survive the fall, but she’d be bound to break a bone or two.

  Smitty raced around the corner of the house and stopped. He shook his head and grabbed the ladder. He set it next to Lynn and started to climb. “Hold on darlin’, I almost have you.” He reached over until his arm was firmly wrapped around her waist and somehow got her onto the ladder. He climbed down first keeping a hold on her the whole time.

  Lynn ran her paint-covered hand through her hair and frowned. “I’m a mess.”

  “You’ll always be the prettiest gal this side of the Cascades. Now tell me why you were swinging from the window.”

  Heat at his attention washed through her. Any other man would have been angry, but not her Smitty. He was a big bear of a man with dark curly hair and beautiful blue eyes. His heart was the biggest she’d ever come across, and she was crazy about him.

  “I wanted to get the side of the house whitewashed. I was almost done.” She smiled. “You have to admit the rest of it looks lovely. We’ve spent all winter building from the inside, and it’s a beautiful spring day to spend outside.”

  “Where is everyone?”

  “Let’s see, Will, Freddie, Greg, and Aaron are with Jed learning how to rope cattle. Carlos, and Juan are with Eli roping cattle. Scarlett and Cindy are baking pies with Susan.”

  “That accounts for all of them. If we get anymore I’ll have to keep building.” A smile spread across Smitty’s face bringing a twinkle to his blue eyes.

  Tilting her head she looked into his eyes. “Would it upset you if we ended up with a few more?”

  “Not if it pleases you.” He shuffled his feet in the dust. “I…ah came to say good-bye. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. But I wanted you to know that I love you.” He reached out and caressed her face. A flicker of regret was in his eyes

  She took his hand and held it to her cheek. “I know you do, and I love you. I understand your obligations, and I knew from the start that you were married. It’s such a sad situation and I’m sorry you’ll be alone.”

  “Except for her meddling mother.” His expression hardened.

  “Yes, except for her.” She couldn’t stop gazing at him, trying to memorize his face. “I’ll miss you, and I’ll be waiting for you to come back to us.”

  He gave her a great big smile. “You know this is the first time we’ve ever been completely alone.”

  She laughed. “I didn’t want to tarnish your reputation. A man has to be so careful these days.”

  He leaned in and kissed her. It started out slow and soft, but then it turned into much more. There was a promise of a future together in his kiss. She pushed away a niggling voice inside that urged caution. He’d be back, he wouldn’t break her heart would he?

  “Let me get you a cloth. You have paint on your hands.” She grabbed a wet cloth and handed it to him. As he cleaned off his hands, she watched his every move. She wanted to be able to remember him while he was gone. It seemed as though he’d just gotten back from helping to lead a wagon train to Oregon, and now he was off again.

  “Don’t let the kids run you ragged. Let them help out around the house. Tell them good bye for me. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I’ll be back as soon as possible and I’ll write to you and let you know what’s going on. Take care of yourself and remember that Mike, Eli and Jed are more than willing to help you.” He stared down at her, seeming reluctant to leave. “If I don’t see this through, I wouldn’t be able to call myself a good man.”

  Her heart tugged as she touched his arm. “I know. Go get it done and then Smitty you’d best come back to me.”

  He pulled her into an embrace and kissed her again. “See you soon, my love.” Then he turned and untied his horse from the porch railing. He mounted up and nodded to her before he rode off.

  She stood there in case he turned back but he didn’t. Loneliness shrouded her and she had to sit on the porch steps before she fell down. At least she’d put up a good front and he’d left without having to worry. She had a feeling he’d be gone longer than he thought. He’d never lied to her about having a wife. It was the first thing he told her as they became close friends on the wagon train.

  She’d been grieving for her husband John, and Smitty just did what he always did. He took her under his wing and looked out for her and her kids. She had lost John and her adopted son Danny on that trip. Smitty had helped her through it all.

  Too bad there wasn’t a way for her to help him now.

  Smitty stopped his horse, River as soon as his wife’s parent’s house came into view, struck by the memories tumbling through his head. It was a fine house, made for rich people. Almost as though they’d tried to recreate a Southern plantation here in Oregon. They had to pay their servants, but they had plenty of them.

  Smitty’s own parents had lived above their means, and people believed them to be wealthy. He grew up in a house as grand as the one Brenda lived in. He snorted. So wealthy that Smitty had to do all the work. He’d learned how to do everything from birthing cattle to making pies. Meanwhile, his father gambled away what little they did have.

  Brenda’s parents Oliver and May Cross must have been living under a rock since they hadn’t heard of the troubles. Instead, they wanted Smitty and Brenda to marry. Insisted, in fact, and when Smitty had packed up his horse to leave, Brenda announced she was in the family way and it was his.

  He’d never felt so gut kicked in his life. He couldn’t prove her a liar. He’d never been with her. The honorable thing to do was marry her for the baby’s sake. Two weeks later, his parent’s debts caught up with them and they expected the Crosses to bail them out. What a mess that was. Accusations were hurled about with Smitty caught in the middle.

  To make matters worse, although Brenda had insisted on wedding him, she refused to sleep with him. She finally told him she’d lost the baby baby. Somehow, he’d found hell on earth. He wasn’t surprised when his parents actually damned him to hell before they left the territory leaving their debts unpaid.


  Smitty smiled. He’d been so stupid to think that with his parents gone, he’d have a better time of it. Apparently, the Crosses were running low on funds too, and they blamed him.

  He couldn’t stand being around them, so he spent his days working the ranch. The stock and other poor creatures were half starved. They were never driven to where the better grass grew before. It took him three years of hard work and constant disdain from the Crosses but he’d made it a profitable ranch.

  Smitty spurred River and they rode closer to the ranch. He’d been here last year but now the cattle looked half-dead. Brenda’s father had died five years ago, and Smitty had used a good portion of the money he’d made to employ cowboys to run the ranch.

  He was going to find out what was going on. As he rode up to the house he wrinkled his brow. It looked as though the last time anything had gotten done was when he was here a year ago. The house appeared abandoned.

  He got off River, tied him to a post and walked right into the house. The stench was overwhelming, like sickness and death. At the sound of tortured coughing from the floor above, he hurried up the stairs. A low moan came from Brenda’s room just as he neared the doorway.

  Brenda sat on her bed coughing and gasping for air. Her shoulders shook hard with each coughing spasm. Her brown hair had thinned and faded, and the circles under her eyes made him ache inside.

  “Your mother?” he asked softly.

  “In her room,” she managed to gasp out. “I’ve tried…”

  Smitty didn’t wait for her answer. He strode down to the other end of the hall and opened the door. His mother-in-law clung to life, but was near death. She was filthy and lying in more filth.

  How long have they been sick and alone? Guilt washed through him.

  May coughed again, spraying droplets of blood across the blanket.

  Fear clutched his gut, and he knew. They had tuberculosis. The old lady coughed again, spurring him into action; their sickness was contagious. He immediately tied his bandana over his nose and mouth.

  “I’m going to warm some water for a bath, May. I’ll be back.”

  He went back downstairs to the kitchen and scrounged enough wood to build a fire to heat water. The whole house was cold. He went from fireplace to fireplace and lit small fires in them all. That would have to do until he could bring more wood in.

  The pantry was also quite bare, but he rummaged around and finally found ingredients to make vegetable soup. They didn’t have any meat, so they would have to make do. He filled another pot to heat water for willow bark tea. He always carried it with him for emergencies.

  The kitchen was the warmest, so he brought the tub in there and set it up near the stove. Next, he climbed the stairs and lifted May into his arms. She weighed no more than a tiny bird. She didn’t like him, and even sick she frowned and narrowed her eyes at him.

  “You aren’t giving me no bath.”

  “Hush, May. What happened to Jenny?”

  May coughed into her handkerchief. “That good for nothing half-wit left at the first sign of sickness.”

  He nodded. He couldn’t blame Jenny. Not with a disease like this.

  He put May on her feet and he stood behind her and lifted her gown off. Then he quickly lifted her into the tub.

  She sighed and actually smiled. “Best I’ve felt in a long time. You’ve been gone long enough,” she snapped.

  “No longer than usual. I supposed the men I hired left too.”

  “That they did. They didn’t even say good bye. I was tending to Brenda when I got it, and it hit me harder.” She leaned back against the tub as though her energy was spent. “Do you think you could wash my hair? Don’t worry about what you see or don’t see. I’m all shriveled up anyway.”

  He poured warm water over her head and then took the soap and lathered it in her hair. He washed it for a while, she seemed to enjoy his hands on her head. She took the soap and washed as well as she could. After that, he rinsed her hair and stood her up. He wrapped her in a thick blanket and set her in a rocking chair near the stove.

  “I’m obliged to you,” she whispered.

  He just nodded and dragged the tub outside to empty it. When he came in, he heated more water and set the bath up all over again.

  A coughing spasm shook May’s tiny frame. When it was over, she drooped in her chair.

  “Would you like some willow bark tea?” Smitty asked.

  “You’re a Godsend, Smitty. I’d enjoy a cup.”

  He poured the tea into a china cup and handed it to her. She closed her eyes as she sipped it.

  How long have they been on their own?

  “I have vegetable soup cooking. Tomorrow I’ll go hunting.”

  He poured hot water into the tub again and went up the stairs. He dreaded seeing Brenda. No matter what, she was never happy, and she took it out on the people around her. “Come on, I’m going to give you a bath.”

  “You most certainly will not, Smitty! You’ve been trying to get me naked since we spoke our vows. This trick isn’t going to work.” She crossed her arms in front of her before a coughing fit struck.

  She stopped coughing. Shoulders sagging, she gave him a defeated look. “A bath would be nice.”

  “Your mother enjoyed hers.”

  Brenda’s mouth dropped open. “Mama let you bathe her? She must be sick in the head.”

  Smitty laughed as he picked her up and carried her down the stairs. She, too, was nothing but skin and bones. He did the same for her as he had for her mother and got her into the tub.

  “Mama, you allowed this man to bathe you?”

  May smiled. “It was the best bath I’ve ever had. Just relax and enjoy the warmth seeping into your bones.”

  The healthy Brenda would have kicked and screamed until she got her way, but now she just nodded.

  Smitty washed her hair too. Funny how he resented the fact he’d never seen her without clothes on and now he didn’t want to look. Not just because she was sick but because of Lynn. He’d tried and tried to be a husband to Brenda, but in the end, she’d told him to leave.

  He had done just that and helped his friends, the Todds, build up their place. He had been able to get three hundred twenty acres of free land in the Oregon Territory, and they’d turned their land and his into one big ranch. The next thing he knew, he was burying his best friend along with his wife. Suddenly he was left with their three young boys. There was no one else to turn to, nothing else to do, so he’d raised them as his own.

  Now, Smitty bent over and lifted Brenda out of the tub and then wrapped a blanket around her too. After placing her in a chair near her mother, he poured her some tea. She never thanked him but he was used to that behavior.

  “How long have you two been on your own?” he asked.

  “Why do you care?” Brenda asked and then pursed her lips into a pout.

  “I think it’s going on four weeks, Smitty. We’ve been alone for that long.” May coughed again, holding a handkerchief to her mouth. When she pulled it away, fresh globs of blood lay on the delicate cloth. “Like I said, I was fine and tending to Brenda, but I came down with it and could hardly get out of bed.”

  He nodded. “Sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time.”

  Brenda turned her head in his direction. “Don’t even. You’ve wanted nothing to do with me since the wedding.”

  “That was a long time ago.” He tried to smooth her ruffled feathers.

  “You were my husband, yet you left me.”

  He ladled the soup into tin cups and handed them each one. “I stayed until I realized there wasn’t a baby, and if you remember correctly you threw me out.”

  Brenda shook her head. “You lied. We thought your family had money. I tried everything to get your attention. My daddy made me. But you weren’t interested.” Her eyes flashed with accusation. “My only recourse was to say I was having your child. And it worked but then we found out you were dirt poor. Of course I wanted you gone.”

  Smitt
y bit back a response. The conversation would lead nowhere. In desperate need of some air, he put his coat on and went out the back door.

  Immediately, he noticed that there was hardly any wood chopped. He wanted to curse fate and yell as loud as he could, but that wouldn’t solve anything. Brenda had finally admitted she tricked him into marriage, but she didn’t have a sorry bone in her body. Somehow, it was his fault. What was wrong with that woman? He’d felt guilty all these years for leaving, and he hadn’t needed to feel that way.

  He took a deep breath. Well, he couldn’t ask for a divorce now that she was so sick. His heart sank. Would Lynn wait for him? A part of him wanted to break down and cry but that wasn’t his style. He’d approach it head on.

  Tomorrow he’d go to town and send Lynn a telegram. And he’d buy some food while he was there. He didn’t think he’d be able to persuade a doctor to come out. Heck, he’d be lucky if they let him in town after knowing he’d been in a house of the sick.

  He grabbed the axe and began to split the wood. Nightfall would be on them soon. He’d move both women into the same room to conserve on heat. He’d make his bed near the stove.

  He had no idea of how long he chopped, but his muscles were beginning to feel the strain when he finally had enough wood to last a few days. He picked up an armload and carried it inside.

  “Thank you, Smitty,” May said, flashing a weak smile.

  “’Bout time you did something for us,” Brenda grumbled.

  Dropping the load of wood near the kitchen hearth, he wished he could cut out her sharp tongue.

  Ignoring her, he pulled off his bandana so he could eat some soup. He’d treated enough people with illness when he helped to lead wagon trains across the country and never caught tuberculosis. May murmured thanks when he handed her another cup of soup. Brenda stared him down. Both women ate like they were starving, though he noticed that May had to keep stopping to cough.