We've Only Just Begun Read online

  “It’s hard, and they’re still mourning. But we manage a smile once in awhile. Both Natalie and Lily are very kind hearted. It was good of them to take me in.”

  “Good. Stop by our fire later for a cup of coffee if you get a chance. I know Clarke would love to talk to you.” Savanna waved as she headed back to her wagon.

  Susan put her hands on the small of her back and stretched. She had oxen to take care of while Natalie made the fire and put the coffee on. It was a blessing to have somebody helping her. She leaned on Natalie as much as Natalie leaned on her. As she peered around the circle of wagons she spotted Clancy. He was making his own fire in talking to Nellie Walton.

  Susan glanced around looking for Nellie’s father. He wouldn’t be pleased to see his precious daughter with Clancy. Nellie was a buxom young lady with blond hair and blue eyes. She often had men flocking to her side. Why was she with Clancy?

  Clancy and Nellie laughed together and then looked her way. Mortified to have been caught, Susan quickly glanced away. Her face heated as she went about unhitching the oxen. It was disheartening to know she was talked about. Gossip, untruths, and speculation just led to heartache. She’d been through it once, and it had been too much to take. She continued to unyoke and rub down the oxen as memories flooded her mind.

  It was just six months ago that she’d been accused of stealing. Her best friend Millie had taken money from her own father. Unbeknownst to Susan, Millie planned to change her name and move. Susan shivered. The people of the town had pointed fingers at Susan. After all, she must have known something. They even went as far as accusing her of being in on the whole mess. Millie’s betrayal had torn her apart, and the assumption of others, people she had known since she was born, was the last straw.

  Susan had loved Millie’s family but in the end it was easier to keep to herself and not be the subject of gossip and false accusations. Not long after that her parents died in an accident with the wagon. There were times when the loneliness was almost unbearable. Now her desperation to go west had placed her as a target for gossip once again.

  Pulling her shoulders back she held her head up high as she walked back to the Lewis wagon. She’d done nothing to be ashamed of.

  “I’ve got the coffee and the beans on,” Natalie told her with a smile. “It was a great idea to soak them all day. Now I know why mine were inedible.”

  It was good to see Natalie smile, and Susan couldn’t help but smile back. One had to be strong to survive. Lily and Natalie would be just fine. The three of them would make it to Oregon and start new lives.

  Once the food was ready they each placed a wooden crate around the fire and sat.

  “Natalie have you given any thought to what you plan to do once you reach Oregon?” Susan regretted asking as Natalie’s smile faded.

  “There’s plenty of time to decide. We’re just glad you’re here to help us through.”

  Before she could answer, Mike joined them, towering so much they had to tilt their heads back to see his face. His expression was serious, and the little jolt she’d felt from his presence faded. “Mike, what’s wrong?”

  He shifted from one foot to the other. “I just wanted to check and make sure you’re fine.” He smiled and tipped his hat at Natalie and Lily. “Susan, can I talk to you in private?”

  She furrowed her brow as she stood. “Of course.” She followed him to a spot just beyond the light of the fires. “Mike, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

  He turned toward her and even in the dim light she could see the concern he had in his blue eyes. “There’s been a lot of talk about you and Clancy, but I’m sure you’re aware of that. What you probably don’t know is Clancy is trying to get you back. He has made himself sound like the most gracious of husbands, and he can’t understand why you left. I don’t know how, but a lot of people seemed to side with him, and it’s my fear he’s going to demand that you travel with him again.” Mike reached out and touched her arm.

  “He threw me out. I just won’t go. There’s no reason that demands that I travel with him.” She clasped her hands to keep them from shaking. What if Clancy’s plan was to trade her for more whiskey?

  “I’ll do what I can, but if he gets enough people on his side my hand could be forced. I might be in charge but I also need to have the respect and trust of everyone. Those that believe Clancy think that you are a wayward wife with no morals or sense of duty. It’s as though they’ve forgotten how Clancy spent all those days drunk leaving you to fend for yourself.”

  She stared into his eyes hoping to see an answer, but there wasn’t one. “So by keeping my mouth shut and my problems to myself I’ve done myself a disservice. Is that why women have been flocking over to Clancy’s camp every evening? Is he telling some story of woe and gaining sympathy for himself?”

  Mike nodded. “I’m afraid so, and I wish I’d known about it sooner so I could put a stop to it. I promised to keep you safe, but he is your husband.”

  Susan laid her hand over Mike’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Mike, you’ve done what you can. It’s my mess and I’ll deal with it. As long as he’s not drinking, things shouldn’t be too bad if he demands that I go back to him.” She gave him a slight smile hoping that he believed her. He raised his brow and shook his head. “We should go back before they start gossiping about us,” she said.

  He opened his mouth as though he had something else to say, but nothing came out. He simply walked with her back into the firelight and escorted her to the Lewis wagon.

  Susan gave him a smile. “Thanks for warning me. We’ll deal with it when the time comes. Have a nice evening.” She walked away without turning back and sat at her place next to the fire. Her stomach churned at the thought of being back with Clancy but she kept a smile on her face. She didn’t want to burden Natalie or Lily with her problems. She glanced across the circle of wagons and saw Clancy standing staring at her with a smile that promised retribution. Mike couldn’t help her, and it wouldn’t be fair to put him on the spot. She nodded politely at Clancy and then quickly turned away.

  The next day they traveled only six miles before reaching the crossing of the Platte River. Mike was glad to see that there were only a few parties ahead of them.

  “Do you think will be able to cross today?” asked Eli.

  “Jed should be back at any time to let us know what the timetable is. Meanwhile, why don’t we circle the wagons I have a feeling we won’t be crossing today. Then I want to call a meeting and explain how to ford this particular river. I don’t plan on losing anyone this time.” Mike’s shoulders were tense with the weight of the responsibility of everyone’s lives in his hands.

  “I’ll have them circle and spread word of the meeting.” Eli spurred his horse and was off.

  Mike turned Arrow and started a ride in the direction that Jed had gone. He wanted to take a look for himself at the river to see how high it was. The Platte River wasn’t usually very high. It was more of a muddy mess that sucked wagon wheels and the oxen’s feet down into the river bed. He’d have to remind everyone not to use the river water for drinking unless they let all the silt settle to the bottom. Sometimes bugs had to be skimmed off the top too. It was clean enough for washing and the like. He smiled when he spotted Jed. He slowed Arrow and waited for Jed to catch up to them.

  “Just like you said. There’s only one decent place to cross. We’ll probably go tomorrow afternoon if we’re lucky. One of the wagon parties is full of inexperienced drivers. That’ll slow things down for sure.” Jed smiled. “Looks like we get to rest for a little while.”

  Mike nodded. “It sure does look like it, little brother.” They turned their horses and headed toward camp. The wagons were all circled and the atmosphere felt lighter than it had in days. As long as Clancy didn’t stir things up they’d have a fine day.

  Smitty already had the big tub filled with a bit of water over the fire. He washed clothes whenever he had a chance. “You two change into some clean clothes and
give me those that you’re wearing.” He didn’t wait for an answer or acknowledgment; he always assumed that they’d do what he said and they usually did.

  Soon enough Mike, Eli and Jed had washed up and put on clean clothes. Most of the other travelers had done the same. Mike went from wagon to wagon making sure everyone was fine and warned against drinking water from any of the water holes nearby. That water was foul. The whole time he kept his eye on Clancy. He didn’t trust him one bit. With his attempts to garner sympathy for himself, no doubt he was up to something, and more than likely it wasn’t something good.

  The children chased each other through the camp, and most of the people wore smiles on their faces. One man in their group brought out his fiddle and began to play. Soon enough everyone called for a dance after all the evening chores were done. It was nice they were all getting along, but dang, Mike dreaded dances. The single women always wanted to dance with him whether he wanted to or not. Even though it wasn’t his favorite thing to do, though, he did enjoy watching Eli, Jed and Smitty out on the dance floor. It amazed him how many husbands refuse to dance with their wives. But he’d have to keep his eyes open to make sure there was no whiskey passed around.

  Connie Ranger stood at the back of her wagon and as soon as he approached her he knew it was a mistake. When her father wasn’t around, Connie flirted with all the men. A few wives had complained about her, but Mike told them there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He told them to complain to her father, but since Connie’s behavior hadn’t changed he doubted they had said a word.

  “How have you and your father been holding up? Everything all right?” Mike made sure to stand out of her reach.

  Her smile widened and her eyes grew sultry. “Hello, Mike. It’s so nice of you to come by and check on my welfare. She dropped the ladle she’d been holding, and as she bent to pick it up she made sure he got an eyeful of what was under her dress.

  Disgusted he turned away. “I need to check on the rest of the folks.”

  “Mike, will you be at the dance?”

  Mike turned back to her. “I’m assuming most people will be there. Good day.” He took long strides to get away from her as quickly as possible.

  Next he came across a huddle of women, all whispering. The temptation to groan out loud had to be suppressed. A group of judgmental gossipers wasn’t something he wanted to deal with. “Ladies,” he greeted as he tipped his hat and hastened to walk past.

  “Wait!”

  Dang, he’d almost gotten away. He stopped and went back to the group. “What can I do for you?”

  Trudy Singleton stepped forward and put her hands on her hips. “For starters, you can get that Susan back into her husband’s wagon. It’s shameful they live apart. He says he tried everything to make her happy, but she up and left.”

  “Ladies, it’s not my business. Clancy rode in the wagon the first few weeks and didn’t help his wife one lick. “You might ask Clancy why he kicked his wife out of their wagon. There are two sides to every story.” A few of the women nodded but it was clear the rest didn’t agree.

  There were a few murmurs. “Honestly, Mike, Clancy was ill. He probably didn’t know what he was saying,” Trudy insisted. “A wife’s place is with her husband. She should be helping him each day, not the Lewises.”

  “I know you have strong feelings about this, but it’s not my call. I hope to see each of you tonight for the festivities.” He spotted Eli. “Hey, Eli, wait up.” Mike made a beeline for Eli.

  Eli frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Just some hens squawking. They want me to force Susan to go back to Clancy. Clancy sure has them all fooled. They feel sorry for him.”

  “That’s crazy. Why do you always allow the crazy people to sign on to our party? Every trek west something like this happens. You need to get better at spotting the lunatics.” Eli softened his accusation with a grin.

  “I usually deal with the husbands when signing people on. Keep an eye out for Susan will you? I don’t like where this is all going.”

  “Sure thing, Mike. Got your dancing boots for tonight?” Eli chuckled as Mike frowned.

  “I’ll have to find them. They’re probably right next to yours.”

  “I bet they are. Did you want me to talk to the sweet ladies?” Eli asked.

  “Nothing more to say, and they aren’t so sweet. I need to finish visiting each wagon. I’ll see you later.” Mike watched Eli walk away. Their parents would have been proud of how responsible both Eli and Jed were. Clancy’s wagon was next. He’d might as well get it over with.

  “What do you want?” Clancy barked.

  “Just checking up on everyone is all.”

  “You’ve been checking on my wife an awful lot. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” Clancy glowered at him.

  “I check on everyone, including you. Glad to see you can do for yourself.” Mike turned and walked on. He heard Clancy grumbling but he didn’t turn back. No sense in arguing.

  He made it back to Smitty. He took off his hat, slapped it against his thigh and then ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Hard day?” Smitty asked, sounding amused.

  “Same old thing. A bunch of the women aren’t happy with Susan living apart from her husband.”

  Smitty slowly shook his head. “Not exactly the same. You have your eye on that Susan gal.”

  Mike sighed. “I’ve been trying to stay away from her. I go out of my way to ignore her, but I’m drawn to her. Knowing her marriage isn’t real doesn’t help matters.”

  “Lots of marriages don’t start out as real but they end up real enough. You’d best stay on the right side of things.” Smitty handed him a cup of coffee.

  “Thanks. I always try, Smitty, I always try.”

  Weary. That was Susan’s word for the day. She was weary from the pointed looks, the whispers and laughs apparently about her. How did Clancy manage to convince everyone to be against her? If she hadn’t been so busy doing both her work and Clancy’s she might have made a few friends. Mostly she kept to herself except for the Lewis and Mott families.

  She smiled at Lily as she twirled around in anticipation of the dance. Natalie was still mourning but had agreed to watch for a bit. The Motts both had a sparkle in their eyes, and Susan could tell they couldn’t wait for the dancing to begin. If she had her wish, she’d grab some extra sleep, but she’d try to enjoy herself for a little while at least. Maybe she could make a few friends.

  As soon as most people had finished their chores the music started. Mr. McGregor was wonderfully talented with his fiddle. He reminded her of her grandfather with his bushy white hair and long beard. Soon people began to dance.

  Susan stood next to Natalie, tapping her foot in time with the music. The gossipy woman kept watching her, but most disturbing was the gleam in Clancy’s eye as he stared. A chill ran down her spine. Keeping a smile on her face was hard but she was determined to appear as though she didn’t have a care in the world.

  She watched as Mike danced with one woman after another. Sometimes his smile looked pained, and Susan wanted to laugh. He was probably getting his feet stepped on. Eli and Jed did their fair share of dancing too. Maybe it was part of the job. No one asked her, which was fine; she was just as content watching.

  Clancy smiled at her from across the circle of spectators, and then he began to make his way to her side. “Natalie, I’m going to go back to the wagon.”

  “Are you feeling poorly?” Natalie asked.

  “No, Clancy—”

  “May I have this dance?” She’d been so focused on Clancy she hadn’t noticed Mike approaching.

  She looked at his proffered hand and put hers in it. The warmth rushing through her at his touch made her feel safe. “I’d be delighted.”

  He led her out to the middle of the crowd and put his arm around her. His touch made her shiver but in a good way. She knew it wasn’t the way a married woman should feel with another man, just as she knew if she look
ed up into his eyes, she’d be lost but she did it anyway. Her breath was momentarily taken away. His gaze, intense and understanding, made her feel as though she was the only woman around for miles.

  “You saw Clancy coming my way didn’t you?”

  “I figured you needed rescuing, but if I’m interfering just say so.” He continued to gaze into her eyes.

  “No, actually I was just about to leave. I don’t want him near me. I do need to talk to him at some point and let him know our sham of a marriage is over. He didn’t like me much anyway.”

  Mike pulled her slightly closer. “He’s determined to have you back. There have been murmurs from some of the women about your wifely duties.”

  Her face heated. “I have no duty to that man. If they don’t like me so be it.”

  Mike didn’t answer; he just smiled and continued to dance. Soon the song was over and Mike walked her over to Smitty instead of Natalie. “Thank you for the dance, Susan. Smitty will walk you to your wagon and make sure you don’t have any unwanted visitors.”

  “Thank you.” She let go of his hand, and it felt as though she’d let go of a life line. Mike anchored her but without him she was adrift.

  Smitty was as wide as he was tall, but his smile gave away the fact that he was more of a gentle giant. “Ready to go, ma’am?” He waited for her nod before he started to walk.

  She glanced around, but Mike was nowhere in sight. It was just as well he wasn’t the settling down type of man. They reached her wagon, and Smitty bid her a good night before she went inside.

  How she wished she could just get divorced. She sighed it wasn’t something she could do while they are on their way to Oregon. Imagine those old biddies gossiping about her because of Clancy. She chuckled slightly and shook her head. She had been fooled all right, but a person like Clancy would show his true nature sooner or later.

  She must’ve fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. The next thing she knew, it was morning and Natalie and Lily were safe and snug with her. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to recapture the feeling of Mike’s arms around her. Her imagination was nowhere near the real thing.